Admit it – you can’t immediately tell which version of prejudice currently pervading our society I’m referring to. To do with wars and violence? Fights over rights and access? Or even what type of prejudice – is it ethnic? Gender-based? Political? Religious? Economic? Ability-based? I’ll end the drama – I’m talking about all of them.
When we struggle, there’s a natural response to problem solve. We didn’t get here by sitting on our hands. And when we’re stressed, we fall back on habits: well-learned patterns in what we do and what we believe. These habits can be individual, like turning to alcohol or believing we’re helpless and the problem is ourselves. But they can also be social. Believing that groups want to take away your rights, or posting a hate-based message on social media. Depending on our habits, problem solving can get dangerous, fast.
Habits are black-and-white. When I wake up, I brush my teeth and shower, in that order. When someone expresses perspective A, my mind argues with ideas B, C, and D. There is no flexibility in a habit. No recognition that perhaps A and B are valid, or that one person’s situation may be vastly different from another’s. For example, when you’re the only one of a particular group in a community, encouraging others to focus on what’s the same may be needed to survive, and therefore empowering. On the other hand, when you’re not alone, it can become rejecting, and restrain power.
Undermining Consensus and Increasing Dehumanization
As Avenue Q says, “Everyone’s a Little Bit Racist,” even in the best of circumstances. When circumstances deteriorate, these beliefs can become virulent. According to FBI data, hate crimes in the US have more than doubled since 2014, most precipitously since 2016 (as cited by CNN).
When prejudiced ideas bubble over into our social conversations, two normal human traits conspire against us: confirmation bias and cognitive dissonance. With confirmation bias, we seek out information that goes along with the belief while also reasoning our way out of information that goes against it. Social media is to some extent designed around confirmation bias (Modgil et al., 2021).
With cognitive dissonance – the tension built from a discrepancy between beliefs or between our beliefs and actions – our prosocial values can become weaponized. If I am a “good person,” who believes in tolerance and justice, and I am supporting a policy that negatively targets a particular group, I can resolve this in only one of three ways. Either I’m not as tolerant as I thought (correct); or, the data must be lying (deluded thinking); or, perhaps that group does not deserve the same degree of tolerance. Unfortunately, path one is the most unpleasant and hardest to take. The more we use paths two and three, the more we get numbed to and open to supporting horrible acts.
Pretty grim, no?
And yet, atrocities are not inevitable, and there are things we can do. Even those same FBI data give some hope. Remember that 2014 was a low point in hate crimes, almost as low as 1992, when data collection started. And 2014 is after a big spike following the World Trade Center attacks. And during the era of social media.
Building Advocacy Alongside Tolerance
How then to respond? Respond we must. Some may have the luxury of ignoring prejudice, at least for a while; for others, there may be a daily need to respond (see the work of Derald Wing Sue). Here is where values must come to the front – not the values of those who you believe are in the wrong, but your own values. Values of personal safety and integrity; values of responding to human suffering; values of justice.
- Safety first: for yourself, and potentially for others.
- If you are not in an immediately dangerous situation, Slow Down. We do not make wise decisions from fear, nor from intellectualization, but from a synthesis of all relevant information. Get out of habit mode and into a more open, receptive frame. This does not mean you must feel calm! Your anger can be a valuable tool: when wielded specifically, intentionally, and in the right context.
- Refrain from judging other communities. If possible, extend compassion. Seek out their perspective, and even when you know they are wrong, know they come to their perspective out of their own needs and suffering. Horrible things are happening, and so this can be very hard to do. Their communities are suffering, too, and this may well be the source of their actions. This does not excuse their actions; it instead leads to the next point.
- Two wrongs don’t make a right. No matter how long civilizations exist, no matter how many wise clichés there are (“An eye for an eye leaves the world blind”), humanity continues to struggle with this one. Replace revenge with
- Your values. Once you step back and contextualize not only your situation and those you care about but also the circumstances for people who hold a different perspective, you are now ready to let your values guide your response. You are ready to recognize the humanity and suffering of all involved.
May we all work to build tolerance, compassion, and harmony.